This was it, her favourite spot.
Isn’t it nice, she said settling herself in the deck chair facing the sea on the far side of the Inn, It never changes, does it, Charles…
It had been a year now and this was their first day, but she felt as if she had been there all the time with her souvenir Rocky Mountain Resorts cap over her eyes, her once-white running shoes finally unpacked from the dusty plastic bags, and… yes, yes they had finally made it again even though the road keeps getting longer every year. One of these days, winter would just never end. She thought about that. But here she was, so they weren’t quite there yet and everything was just fine…
Charles had barely stopped the car in the parking lot when Rodney had come out, taken their bags, shaken his head and said : Same old car. And she had laughed. She had laughed because she had been waiting for that. She knew he was going to say it. He always did. Just as sure as the beach was there, he said it. And all through winter, she could close her eyes and see herself in her chair again, and feel the breeze, and the sun, and hear Rodney and the gulls and the children…
Oh, the children were all grown-up now, that was for sure, but still somehow she heard them. And whenever she spoke about the beach, everyone would say : Yes mother, SAME OLD CAR, we know… And that would be around Christmas, maybe, because everyone was there and she’d always want to sing the carols, and Paul would think he was Caruso and try to smash the wine glasses with his voice, and the others would stick their fingers in their ears.
But Paul had died, hadn’t he? Or gotten divorced? Or both, or was it his job?.. No matter what, he had wanted to be Caruso ; that much she knew for sure and, come to think of it, maybe he should have been…
So, when Charles watched golf on TV or « Loveboat » and talked about going on a cruise again, she’d think how perfectly well they were at the beach and just sort of wander off silently there, except maybe when everyone came visiting (which somehow was somewhat just like the beach), and then she would talk about it.
So perhaps it was at New Year’s that someone would say : Yes mother… And John would be there with one of those lost souls he had rescued off the street in Côte-des-Neiges, and gobble-up enough food for a week of armies, and sometimes you wondered who had rescued who…
And maybe Anne would be out of the hospital for a day, and she would eat no food at all, except for a piece of cake, or two, all mushed-up with milk in a porridge bowl, and make a fuss of it, and complain about her mouth, and her back, and…
Anne had always liked cake, hadn’t she, the picnics on the sand? Remember? And sometimes Anne would remember, and forget her sickness, and crack a smile. And then for a moment Mary would see her be almost young again and beautiful.
And someone would say to Anne how well she looked, and then all the others would say it too, and Mary wasn’t sure they were really speaking to Anne at all. And then Anne would forget, and remember, and that was it, that was all.
And Mary would worry all through winter, worry about the beach:
Are you sure, Charles? Do we still have that car?
Outremont, le 2 décembre 1991
Loin …….